The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay guys wish to find out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure. check here

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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