The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are why not try here sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles my site who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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